A Day In The Life: Paternity Leave
Ben is back at work today after spending the final vi weeks at home (the rest of his paternity leave from when Westley was born in August). It seemed like merely the time to share some other day in the life post as nosotros all miss Dad's extra easily + energy effectually hither today.
Why we decided to filibuster paternity leave
When our first baby was born five years ago nosotros were really excited Ben got a full calendar week of paid paternity leave. He took 2 days off when the infant was first born and carve up up the remaining iii days over the course of the next few weeks to fill up in gaps between family coming to visit. In a task where he was getting 2 weeks of vacation per year, this extra week felt luxurious and I got a lot of comfort from knowing, if needed, on whatsoever given difficult day during the showtime few weeks, Ben could stay home.
When baby #ii came 17 months later on, his company had moved to 6 weeks of paid paternity go out. Merely, Ben was besides starting training for a new chore role iv days after Adelaide was born. Ben took a few days of vacation right when she was built-in on a Wednesday and reported to work on Monday, two days afterward nosotros'd been discharged from the infirmary. Two months later, one time all our extended family had gone domicile and nosotros'd started getting into a routine, he took his offset three weeks off. He took the next 3 weeks in October/ November and we spent most of it in New Hampshire, visiting my family and the gorgeous New England fall.
This fourth dimension around Ben over again managed to start a new task inside a month of the baby existence built-in so we decided it made sense to have two weeks off when Westley arrived and save the rest of his leave until later on he'd completed his outset project. I really like splitting information technology up considering it gave u.s.a. something to look forrard to during those starting time hard months adjusting to life with 3 kids and living on very picayune slumber. It was also really wonderful for him to take so much fourth dimension off during the holidays. Lincoln keeps asking if we tin can delight accept more than babies then daddy exist home more. #kids
How nosotros spent paternity leave
Ben had from thanksgiving until mid-Jan off and so well-nigh of our get out was wrapped up in vacation fun. Ben took the large kids on a trip to California to see his parents while I finished upwardly a busy holiday work season and worked on sleep training Westley (well, that was the plan until Westley got sick…nosotros ended up postponing sleep grooming until concluding calendar week). It was still work having a infant to have care of but it felt similar a relaxing holiday with the fun, loud, crazy kids gone and just a trivial one in the house.
Information technology was great to have Ben habitation full time during the 2 weeks the kids had off of pre-school for the holidays. We also actually enjoyed having him home when they started schoolhouse again and we could have luncheon dates or become things done effectually the house with just a babe to chat with. We took a lot of naps, did a lot of tag-teaming, and tried to be adept virtually going to slumber at a reasonable 60 minutes. 1 of the all-time parts was having him there after really hard nights. I retrieve one night where I was up no less than xiv times betwixt 10:30pm – 5:30 am Ben woke upwards and said he'd take over. I then slept from 5:30 until nigh 10 and we all had a pretty good day, despite the awful night.
How nosotros co-parented during paternity leave
Our general dominion during paternity leave was that Ben was in charge of the big kids (Adelaide and Lincoln age iii and 4) and I was in charge of the baby. I still ended upwardly with nigh of the laundry + dishes but I delegated a off-white flake of the cooking + errands to Ben. He was also, hands down, the fun parent, spearheading lots of outings and adventures.
We decided pretty early on when Westley was born that I would handle night wakings and Ben would sleep through and and so wake up for the early morning shift. This works for united states because, even if Ben gets upwardly and takes care of Westley in the night, I even so wake up. I was getting interrupted sleep either fashion so it was skillful to accept one parent slumber through the night and wake up at 6 am with the babe while I slept in. Ben would get the big kids upwards and fed and I'd usually wander out of the bedroom around 8:30. I loved this system because nosotros both felt super grateful. Ben was grateful he didn't have to wake upwardly in the middle of the night and I was grateful I got to sleep in each day. Starting the twenty-four hours feeling super grateful for your spouse is awesome.
Nosotros also realized that Lincoln and Adelaide are a lot more demanding when Dad is home. A random Wednesday morning when it'due south just me and the kids home, I tin get them settled into an activity, get Westley down for a nap, and spend an 60 minutes or two cleaning/organizing/showering. If Ben is dwelling, though, they desire him to play with them. If he isn't playing with them, every few minutes in that location'southward another request for Dad. We probably could have changed the expectation of Ben playing with them but nosotros didn't .. and I think they'll remember this every bit a pretty special time getting to spend so much time with an otherwise very decorated dad.
An average twenty-four hours on paternity leave
three:00 I hear Westley crying at some point during the early morning hours and drag myself out of bed to feed and change him. I'm upwardly a few more times, per usual, between iv:30 and half-dozen am because he seems to accept a hard time settling the closer it gets to forenoon. Usually it's but a pacifier reinsertion simply each fourth dimension I hear him I hopefully look at the clock and hope information technology is by 6 am.
6:20 I hear Westley over again and go to curlicue over and wake upward Benjamin. I grab my phone, turn on some strong white noise, and slip it back under my pillow for a stretch of uninterrupted sleep (depending on the night, the stretch from half-dozen-8:30/9am is likely my longest direct stretch of sleep).
Meanwhile, Ben gets Westley up, brings him out to his play mat in the living room and dozes on the couch. Adelaide wakes upwards sometime before 7am and knows to wander out to the living room to find Dad. They play or read stories until information technology'due south time for breakfast.
7:30 Ben get's Adelaide breakfast while Westley hangs out in the mamaroo. Lincoln wakes up to the noise of breakfast and wanders out, sleepy and a scrap cranky. Ben pours 5 bowls of cheerios for Adelaide and Lincoln nibbles on a piece of toast. These two kids are polar opposites in the morning.
eight:05 I pull myself out of bed so we tin get everyone prepare for school. Ben has started lunches so I piece of work on finishing those and set out the kids clothes. We all get dressed with a lot of coaxing and I'thou out the door past 8:30 with Lincoln and Adelaide while Ben puts Westley down for a nap. I things I love about paternity go out is not having to bring Westley to preschool driblet-off because he is almost always ready for a nap just as we're leaving.
9:xv I'm home from preschool and Westley is asleep. Ben and I conversation over breakfast and then he leaves for the climbing gym. I become a little writing washed for the blog, straighten upwardly around the house, and read books with Westley during the morning. I heat upward some leftovers (taking a suspension from Trader Joes burrito bowls) for lunch and try and get Westley down for another nap.
one:15 Ben is back from the gym and has picked up the kids from preschool. Westley is still napping and so he misses family snuggle on our bed where I hear about the kids 24-hour interval at school and listen to whatever they're excited most.
We go the kids settled for quiet time correct as Westley wakes up so I ask Adelaide if she wants to "read" to Westley in her quiet time. She eagerly agrees and he'southward situated on his mat on the flooring of her room before I make my way back to my bed for a nap.
Bens gets in a shower and a little reading before Westley needs some help.
3:00 The kids want to know if tranquility fourth dimension is over so we give them the "10 more infinitesimal" spiel and I starting time getting things out for their afternoon snack. Lincoln gets a placidity fourth dimension treat for staying in quiet time for the full hour and a half only Adelaide gets to endeavor again tomorrow because she came out asking for things a number of times. She's upset for a infinitesimal just gets over information technology quickly when she sees the slices of asian pear and crackers on the table.
4:45 I have dinner plans with a friend up the coast so I head out, leaving Ben in charge for dinner (macaroni and cheese with peas) and bedtime. Usually we're both dwelling house for this part of the day or I take the big kids to the gym for an evening workout while Ben stays home with Westley. If the weather is warm enough Ben might take the big kids to the park or nosotros'll all pack into the automobile to head to Lincoln'due south basketball game class.
9:30 I'one thousand home from dinner and Ben and I whorl up in bed for an episode or 2 of a testify earlier Westley wakes upwardly for an evening feed. I feed him, change him, and put him dorsum to bed. We commit to sleep preparation next calendar week.
Previous "Twenty-four hours in the life" posts:
- A Tuesday with with iii kids (two months, three years, 4 years)
- A Sunday in March 2022 (life with ii toddlers)
- A weekday in March 2017 (an viii month old and a toddler)
- A twenty-four hour period in Baronial 2022 (life with a newborn and a toddler)
- A day in March 2022 (life with two toddlers, significant, living on HBS campus)
Source: https://elisabethmcknight.com/a-day-in-the-life-paternity-leave/
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